Did you really know what meth was?

Still Trying to Understand Meth -- To Addicts

The more I talk to family, friends, coworkers - whoever, the more this question still sits with me.

My parents never really talked to me about drugs (they were in their early 40's when they had me) - somewhat "out of the times" is how I would describe them. I did learn about drugs in school, and meth was HUGE in the town that I grew up in (was even recognized as the "Meth Capital of the World" on the Tonight Show years ago).

So when meth was offered to you that first time ... or when you went out looking for meth that first time ... did you really NOT know all the things you now know?

I'm not better than anyone, not claiming to be ... but I have known (more so now, the severity) - but all along, I knew this was NOT a drug you would want to mess around with.

Did you know too, and just didn't care? Or the benefits at the time seemed to outweigh the consequences?

When I talk to other people about meth, it seems that most understand how addictive it is, how even one try can get you hooked. I'm trying to understand how it is then that so many people still try it.

And if it's not about education (because I know A LOT of people who had the same drug education that I did, and they still ended up using) ... WHAT is the missing piece that makes some people still choose to use.

(As I write this out, it seems almost "stupid" -- but when I talk to other people, they just seem dumbfounded, like "WHY in the HELL would anyone ever try this drug in the first place?"). Just trying to grasp it, I guess.

Re: Still Trying to Understand Meth -- To Addicts

Gosh I was so young when I tried it and I hung out with a much older crowd. Maybe I was just trying to fit in...

When it comes to knowing already how addictive it is. Really I hadn't heard anything from anyone about the dangers or other bad things.

The only things I heard about it were how it made you feel and all the people who were telling me were already addicted of course they glorified it.

Also even though I knew that NO drug is safe I think deep down (because I already suffered from depression) I wanted to be a drug addict. Sounds stupid but I felt that if I was constantly on something then I wouldn't have to deal with it.

well that's just me but, I'm sure You'll get all sorts of different experiences that led people to use.

Re: Still Trying to Understand Meth -- To Addicts

I honestly believed that I was exempt from the consequences. When I first used, I didn't realize how bad meth was. I just assumed that anyone who couldn't handle it was just "stupid", and that is why they got all effed up.

When the consequences did start occurring, I chalked it up as par for the course. I believed that pain was the price to be paid for happiness. I was willing to feel bad to feel good. In fact, I felt that if you didn't feel bad, something was wrong with you. I saw happiness and pure joy as a weakness, as naiveté. I saw warmth and closeness as "crutches", and people who wanted warmth and closeness as pansies who don't know what it is to be human. (!!!!!!)

There were some drugs that scared me, but only because I didn't like throwing up. That is probably the #1 thing that prevented me from using heroin. Screw addiction, pain, withdrawals. I just don't want to be pukey! 

Who knew that pukey was the least of my problems.

Every time I tried something new, every time I raised the bar and survived it, I felt rejuvenated, hopeful, and proud. This was working, I can do this and be fine! I raised and raised the bar until it finally crushed me.

I tried drugs because I believed in them. I honestly believed that drugs were good, and anyone telling me that they are bad was lying to me. I don't know where I got those ideas, but I think it's something that has eaten me up my whole life.

I would eat dogshit if someone told me it would get me high. But I can't reach out, no matter what promises are given to me.

I won't trust. I believe in drugs.

Re: Still Trying to Understand Meth -- To Addicts

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Every time I tried something new, every time I raised the bar and survived it, I felt rejuvenated

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OMFG that is exactly how I felt! It was like a status thing almost for me every time I did another drug that was suppose to be more intense the better I felt. Like I had accomplished something!

When I started shooting up it was just like achieving a higher status as well. I actually believed it made me a better, stronger person than the normies.

Damn, how naive I was.-

Re: Still Trying to Understand Meth -- To Addicts

I really didn't know. Meth was new to my circle of friends and I'd heard of it, but it was always one of those things I'd never encounter.

I did a line of what I thought was cocaine one night and was surprised to find out it was meth. I knew instantly. The burn was unbelievable. After being high for a very long time, I decided not to do coke anymore because...hey...it's just too expensive. I can do this meth and stay high wayyy longer.

Smart.

Re: Still Trying to Understand Meth -- To Addicts

Thanks for your replies. As a parent, I worry (of course) and am trying to think ahead of ways to teach the right way about drug use. It obviously worked for me (but like I said, it wasn't my parents who taught me anything) ... so just trying to figure this aspect out to know best how to address with my children as they get older.

Re: Still Trying to Understand Meth -- To Addicts

I don't know that there is a set way to make sure your kids avoid drug use.

What I think makes sense is to educate them, of course, and make sure their self-esteem is very strong. I think self-esteem is an absolute necessity in saying no to drug use. These kids have to be comfortable not giving in to peer pressure.

I too, worry a lot about my son. I just pray that he doesn't ever see the things I've seen.

Re: Still Trying to Understand Meth -- To Addicts

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So when meth is offered to you that first time ... or when you went out looking for meth that first time ... did you really NOT know all the things you now know?

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I really, really, really knew NOTHING about it.

Coke was big amongst the people I knew; pot was even bigger; alcohol was a given; this was in L.A. in the 70's and 80's.

The first time I tried meth was in far Northern California in the mid 80's, and I had never heard of it. They called it speed, which I HAD heard of, but had only sampled in the form of crosstops, or whites (tablets), and black beauties (capsules).

That first time was the beginning of my 13 year meth run.

I really and truly knew nothing about the stuff. I WISH like hell I had; at least I would have been making an informed choice, and I'd like to think that choice would have been "no".

Re: Still Trying to Understand Meth -- To Addicts

Very well educated in all of life (birds and bees and drugs and alcohol) by my family and my church.

I can honestly say meth was another coast's problem, not east coast, not till the last couple of years, it was still foreign to me.

Know the things I know now? H3ll no. And then do it? Are you crazy--no.

Lots of folks know nothing about this drug, even doctors and nurses (shouldn't be too surprising, just sickening).
addict no more & dumb no more

Re: Still Trying to Understand Meth -- To Addicts

This is how my daughter explained it to me.

She said that in school when the cops or whomever were explaining the "just so NO to drugs" talk some of the kids will think "no, I'm NEVER going to try this drug" then others will think "no, I'm NEVER going to try the hard core drugs BUT I think I'll try POT and the milder stuff" and then there are the kids who hear all the warnings and all the talk about drugs and think "hey, I think I'll try this stuff because it can't be as bad as they say and hey I want to have fun". My daughter said that when the cops gave their "talk" it was like a "red flag" for her. She just had to try it because she couldn't stand the idea of anyone telling her "NO".

Now try to figure that one out because I sure can't.